Single Alpha Female Desperately Seeking Single Alpha Male

If I were to ever place a personal ad, I'm pretty sure this would be my headline.  Back when I was subscribed to an online dating website I received an email from them stating that Tankoflove123 could be the one for me. Seriously? When I was a little girl doodling the numerous variations of what my married name could be (Mrs. Sarah Aikman and Mrs. Sarah Bagwell were at the top of the list when I was younger!), I never imagined numbers in my future last name. Call me crazy, but it just doesn’t have the kind of ring to it that I am looking for.

Which brings me to my question - where are all of the great guys of substance? Don’t get me wrong, I’ve embraced this phase called “Singlehood” and am fully prepared to conquer the world as a singular sensation, but where would one go should they want to meet a great normal guy?

I’ve done online dating and was traumatized by the results. As soon as I registered with one site, a guy with a fu-man chu immediately sent me an email stating that I was “purty” and informing me that he had 5 kids. And he lived in the middle of deliverance-town, population: him. I think he really wanted to skin me and wear me as a cape. Then there was the guy who emailed me and asked how often I liked to fight (I’ll make you disappear buddy), the guy who was currently unemployed because he wanted to be a mime (way to dream) and the man who easily weighed 700 pounds and informed me that he hadn’t left his house in a while, but would try for me (gee thanks, I think).

I had a friend of a friend set me up with someone. His favorite movie was Beerfest and his favorite hobby was drinking beer (wonder where he got that idea) while driving his motorcycle to see how fast he could go before he crashed. Breaking news: He crash A LOT!

I’ve gone to the grocery store during peak hours, gone to sporting events, pumped my gas at different stations, hell I even went to Bridal Extravaganza hoping to connect with a groomsman (all while secretly planning my own wedding).

So tell me world - where are all of the great normal guys hiding?

Until Next Time,