When I first started walking a few years ago I could only walk maybe 10 minutes before I was out of breath and cramping up. Eventually I was walking 2 miles a night with no problems. When I switched to workout tapes, I could only do a few seconds (if any) of each move before I was collapsing. Eventually I was able to do almost all of the exercises on each tape. But still I stayed away from yoga. It intimidated me in a big way.
Plus size women walked and did workout tapes, but they didn't do yoga (or so I thought). I want to challenge myself, not embarrass myself I would tell myself. Then I kept telling myself I would try yoga once I hit a mysterious goal weight. No matter what amount of weight I lost, I still couldn't start practicing yoga. Finally I decided to try Yoga Booty Ballet. You know, to ease myself into yoga. It's a mixture of yoga, dancing, Pilate's and ballet all in one workout. It kicked my butt, but in a good way. It also slowly put me in touch with my inner yogi. And it gave me some of the necessary confidence that I needed to attempt yoga.
I finally decided to face my fear and get a yoga tape. I bought Ashley Turner's Stress Relief and Flexibility DVD. I remember the first time I did the workout. I sat and stared at the case for a long time. I was petrified of failing. Sure no one else would know if I succeeded or not, but I would know. That's all that mattered. And after losing who I was and feeling like a "failure to launch", I needed this attempt to be a successful one.
The DVD started with deep calming breathing, which is right up my workout alley! But as the DVD transitioned into actual yoga positions, there was a calm that came over me. The realization that I could do this no matter my size or athletic ability.
Over time, yoga has taught me to be kind to myself. When I tell myself that I cannot do something, yoga proves to me that I can do something I never thought I would be able to do. And for that I am eternally grateful.
Namaste!
Until Next Time,
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